Learning how to make friends at university can feel daunting, especially in a new environment filled with unfamiliar faces. However, fostering meaningful connections is not just about being sociable—it’s a skill that can be cultivated with the right mindset and strategies. Here’s a science-based guide to help you navigate the process.
1. Be Open and Approachable
Your body language speaks volumes. Research in social psychology suggests that open gestures, maintaining eye contact, and smiling make you more approachable. A study from Psychological Science highlights how non-verbal cues significantly impact first impressions.
Practical Tip: During lectures, sit near others and engage in small talk before class. Even simple questions like, “What did you think about the assignment?” can open doors to deeper conversations. Note, that if you feel uncomfortable about starting up small talk (what if I’m being too awkward or come across desperate?), try chatting about class content, assignments, homework, etc. It will feel more professional and less clingy at the beginning.
2. Leverage Shared Activities
Participating in group activities or societies aligns with the similarity-attraction effect—the idea that we are drawn to people with shared interests. Studies show that engaging in structured social settings makes it easier to form bonds.
Practical Tip: Join a club, sports team, or even a study group. These settings provide natural opportunities to interact without the pressure of one-on-one conversation.
3. Be Consistent and Show Interest
Friendships often form over time through repeated interactions. The mere-exposure effect explains that familiarity fosters liking. Additionally, genuine interest in others strengthens connections.
Practical Tip: Attend regular events like weekly club meetings or recurring coffee meetups. When chatting, ask open-ended questions such as, “What got you into this major?” or “What’s been the highlight of your week?” Note that many people love to talk and love when others listesn. In case your chatting partner is chatty, listen intently and get involved into their thought process. You can always add your personal views, stories or opinions.
4. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
University is the perfect time to embrace vulnerability. Psychologist Brené Brown emphasizes that taking social risks—like introducing yourself or inviting someone to hang out—can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Practical Tip: Challenge yourself to talk to one new person a week. Start small, like complimenting a peer’s presentation or asking for their opinion on a topic discussed in class.
5. Use downtime
Having a hard time finding the perfect occassion for chitchat? Use the time when you commute, empty time between classes or while you are waiting for the lecturer. Also, try not to be on your phone all the time, so you seem more open to pass the time with discussions.
Final Thoughts
Building friendships at university isn’t an overnight process, but with openness, shared experiences, and genuine interest, you’ll create connections that can last a lifetime. Remember, everyone else is navigating similar feelings of uncertainty, so don’t hesitate to take the first step.
By following these actionable, research-backed strategies, you’ll not only make friends at university but also develop skills for forming connections throughout life.